Sunday, February 06, 2011

february, the other f word



It's 7:30 on Sunday morning and I've been up for two hours. Drinking tea and catching up on my google reader feeds. Wrapped in wool, trying to get/stay warm.

I've started a handful of posts in the past week or so, all about how sick I am of winter, about how I've had enough of the snow and the cold, about how annoyed and anxious I feel these days. But those posts have all been abandoned, because I can't even finish writing them without getting sick of myself.

Needless to say, winter is starting to take its toll. There's so much pretty -- freshly fallen snow, striking sunsets -- but I'm having difficulty getting over myself long enough to appreciate any of it. I've got ideas rolling around in my head, but am having trouble with the follow through.

A few weeks ago, I started a major clean out of my apartment. I decided that over the coming weeks (and months, if necessary), I would go through each room, each nook and cranny, clearing and cleaning out, organizing. I made a valiant start (it was going as I'd planned) and somewhere along the line I got sidetracked. Now I'm surrounded by piles and piles of ... stuff. Which, of course, the cat sees as perfect mischief making material, much to my annoyance. So, I need to get back on track with that. I think that working my way through all the clutter will help settle my brain a little.

Also, I feel like I spend so much time online between twitter, flickr, ravelry, google reader, and now pinterest (which I love, but can lead you down the rabbit hole). In many ways, these online spaces have kept me relatively sane the past few years, but recently I'm feeling overwhelmed rather than inspired, more often than not. Instead of knitting, taking photos, sewing, or reading a book, I'm only making my to do/knit/read list longer. At the same time, I'm completely intimidated by all the talented people out there, and often think to myself that I'll never take photos as beautiful as X, knit as well as Y, or write like Z. It's a vicious cycle I tell ya. So, hand in hand with the organization of my physical space is the realignment of my virtual space. Trying to figure out a way to enjoy all of these great platforms without getting lost in them. We'll see how that goes -- I have a feeling that it might be more difficult than the work of getting my apartment straightened away.

Well, it's past eight now, and it's time to get the day properly started (though the sleeping cat on my lap might disagree). I think I've talked myself into diving back into the cleaning, so today might just be productive.

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